


Fix me

by Beyond_now_and_into_the_crazy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 20:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12020721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beyond_now_and_into_the_crazy/pseuds/Beyond_now_and_into_the_crazy
Summary: It's days like this, Sasuke thinks as he stares out onto the pouring rain, that he wonders if there is something- anything, that he doesn't regret.





	Fix me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya guys! So I have no excuse for this, other than my extreme bitterness over that ending. I've never really written for this time period in the show before, and I don't really keep up with Boruto, so I'm sorry if this comes off as ooc or something. Anyways, enjoy! (or at least, try to)

Sasuke drops his cloak on the hook, shrugging off the bad weather like an old nightmare.

            It’s absolutely horrible outside, he thinks as he glances out the window and dries himself off. Thunder roars and lighting strikes in the distance, rain soaking the entire village of Konoha in water.

He hopes for a second that they’ll be enough of it to drown this entire damned place.

            The thought takes him by surprise.

            It’s no secret to anyone that he hates this village, but he thought he’d moved on.

“Hn.”

            He didn’t pause to contemplate this, just tries to push it to the back of his mind. He knew his younger self would’ve hated him for this, so he pushed that thought to the back of his mind too.

Outside the rain was so bad he could hear it, even through the walls of his supposed home. He sat and stared out, wondering.

            Wondered if things could have gone differently. He wondered what would’ve happened had he not married Sakura, not had Sarada. He wondered what would’ve happened had he left for good or truly stayed. He wondered, just maybe, if things had to turn out like this.

As he peered out, he could swear he caught a flash of orange off in the distance, somewhere in the unpleasant weather outside. That set his thoughts to a whole other side of things.

            Naruto. He wondered where he was right now, how he was doing. Wondered if he was happy.

He should be. He had everything he’d ever wanted, didn’t he? His dream job, the whole village’s respect, a wife, a family.

            So then why did he always seem so… dead whenever Sasuke talked to him?

Well, not when Sasuke talked to him. When Sasuke talked to him, it almost seemed like his whole world lit up, and Sasuke swore that he could see the obnoxious and overly-ambitious twelve year old somewhere in those usually-cloudy blue eyes.

            But whenever Sasuke saw him without being acknowledged… It hurt. Whenever he looked at those previously bright eyes and saw someone who was just pretending, he didn’t know what had happened. Didn’t know who had done it, how he could fix it. If he could fix it.

            _You couldn’t do that thirteen years ago when he married someone he’d talked to three times in his whole life._

He sighed as his eyes caught on the flash of orange again. He almost thought it was closer than the last time, but shook his head. God, he really needed to get more sleep.

It was almost like life had had the same effect on him as on Naruto.

            Nothing felt right anymore. He didn’t feel anything when he saw Sarada smiling at him, or when Sakura asked him about his trip. His missions weren’t even that fun, not when he was still tied to this village. Tied by a red sting to a specific person. One who he was convinced he’d never be able to forget.

One who wore overly bright orange and a big smile and had too much determination and forgiveness to be real.

            He wasn’t sure if that person was alive anymore.

He wasn’t sure if the angry boy in blue and black who that boy had loved so dearly was either.

            He turned to go to his bedroom and contemplate his scrolls when he took one final glance out the window.

Only to see a blur of orange coming straight towards him and-

            The door crashed open, leaving a breathless figure to stand in front of its splintered remains, panting. Now medium length hair covered his eyes, but Sasuke knew without a single doubt who it was.

“Naru-“

            “Sakura where is-“ Naruto straightened and caught a glance at him, eyes growing wide with some unknown emotion once they caught sight of him.

“Sasuke!”

            He was then enveloped in a soaking hug, feeling almost as if all his bones were being crushed one by one.

“Wha-“ He started to ask, only to see Naruto pull back and stare at him.

            He looked heartbroken.

Sasuke would complain, but the look in his eyes was even worse than seeing that dead expression he usually wore.

            And was he-

“Why are you crying, dobe?”

            “I- Sasuke, I… I don’t know anymore.”

What?

            “Don’t know what?”

“I don’t know if I’m- if I’m- if this is what I really want.” He said, apparently unable to articulate exactly his feelings, but trying nonetheless. Babbling, as usual.

            “It’s like I’ll be sitting at my desk or about to go into a meeting and suddenly my brain will be all like ‘But what if you married Sakura and not Hinata?’ ‘What if you didn’t become Hokage?’ ‘What if you left the village with Sasuke?’ ”

Sasuke felt his breath catch at the last one. Had Naruto really been willing- willing to leave with him just like that? _He must be sleep deprived or something. There’s no way Naruto would think something like that. Naruto’s happy._

He almost starts talking before he realizes Naruto isn’t finished.

            ‘And then it just gets worse and everything like ‘What if you actually tried to fix the shinobi system instead of drowning yourself in useless paperwork to avoid your problems?’ ‘What if you actually loved your family?’ ‘What if you didn’t pretend to be happy, but actually were instead?’ ‘What if your smile was for real this time?’” He said, out of breath. Sasuke could swear the wetness on his clothes wasn’t just rain anymore.

“ ‘What if you hadn’t let Sasuke go?’ ‘ What if- what if you’d told him you loved him all those years ago instead of pretending to love someone who you didn’t and spend the next fourteen fucking years unhappy with everything and drowning in your own self-hatred?”

“I…” He panted, looking even more distressed then he had before they had begun talking. His eyes were downcast with shame, something that Sasuke could only recall seeing on him a handful of time through all the years he’d know Naruto. “Hinata… I left her. I told her we couldn’t be together, that I… I love someone else. I think she already figured it out.” He said, trembling slightly as he looked up.

            “Naruto…” He whispered quietly as arms clung tightly to his shoulders. He didn’t know what to say.

_What on earth has happened to us?_

They stood like that for god knows how long. Only after Sasuke could feel the wetness soaking through his newly dried clothes did he push Naruto away.

When he pulled away, he found out he was right. Naruto was looking at him with wide eyes, filled with possibly more emotion now than he’d seen in total over the last thirteen years. There were tearstains on his scars and he looked like he was torn between trying to smile and falling into a pit of horrible despair.

            Sasuke couldn’t let that happened.

_It’s our job to save each other…_

_No matter what._

            Not knowing what he was doing, he put him arms around Naruto and pulled him into some sort of awkward hug, heart pounding in his chest. He didn’t think he had the courage to do what he was about to do, but he was going to try anyways.

He leans forwards and kisses him, lips briefly touching Naruto’s forehead.

            At this, Naruto laughs. It’s strangled with sorrow, but it’s a laugh nonetheless.

“Thirty years and that’s the best you can do?”

            Sasuke about to shoot his best Uchiha death glare before he looks and realizes that his friend is crying even more now.

_What could have been… Had we not made so many mistakes._

“Sorry. I must have inferred something that wasn’t there.” His voices catches in his throat and he’s infuriated about how pathetic he sounds as he turns away.

            But before he can, and hand catches him by the wrist and pulls him back.

_Like he always does._

“No. Sasuke… What I came here to tell you… Is that I love you. Even if it is twenty years late.”

            His breath catches in his throat and _no those aren’t tears a bug just flew into my eye and-_

“Me too.” He’s mumbling before pulling the idiot back to him.

            And they just stand there in the doorway, neither really knowing what to do, until Naruto reaches a hand into his hair.

He runs his fingers through it, until Sasuke pulls away just enough to talks without being muffled.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

            “Fixing your hair. It looks even worse now than it did when you had the duckbutt.”

“The duckbutt?” He asks, questioning Naruto’s sanity even more than usual.

            “Yeah. Your hair always looked like there was a duck sitting on your head. Idiot.” He mumbles and presses his face into the dark cloth on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Mm. You smell good.”

Sasuke briefly wonders how much alcohol Naruto’s consumed in the past hours, considering the only thing he likely smells like is rain and regret, and neither of those are all that great. But he puts the thought to the side for a second, because by now it’s already eleven o’clock and he’s about to drop dead. But he doesn’t want to tell Naruto to go home. Doesn’t want to leave him again.

            “Do you want to stay the night? Sakura and Sarada aren’t home.” He mumbles softly and Naruto pulls away like he just touched an iron, entire face red.

“Didn’t know you wanted to take things that fast, Sasuke? Uh…”

            Oh. That probably hadn’t come off as platonically as he’d assumed it would. “No, idiot! I just meant if you… wanted to sleep here tonight.” He would go on, but that was Naruto’s thing, and he was cut off by an embarrassed nod anyways. “Shouldn’t have taken it that way… Sorry.” He said sheepishly, scratching his neck.

“It’s fine.” He mumbles back, and head towards the kitchen, too uncertain if he should propose the couch or a room or maybe even his room to Naruto, considering the state of their relationship.

            Naruto solves his issues by pulling a mattress out from his closet and plopping down on it, gesturing towards Sasuke to do the same.

Sasuke frowns at him. “Don’t wear your clothes on the bed, dobe. You’re gonna get it wet.”

            Naruto smirks at him. “You’re right. I guess it’d be better if I just slept here naked, right?” He says, faking a yawn.

Sasuke glares at him, giving him a look that says ‘Not two minutes ago you were blushing at the idea of me suggesting you staying here the night, and now you say this.’ Naruto shrugs, although Sasuke notices his cheeks are red, and shakes his head. “I’ll go get you some spare clothes.”

            He comes back into the room a few minutes later with some old clothes of his that he’d left at the house all those years ago. They’re tattered and probably filled with holes, but they’ll have to do.

He throws Naruto the clothes and lays down in the bed, ready to fall asleep. Briefly, he notices his rival’s mischievous expression has been replaced with something else, something tinged with sadness that looks a little too much like regret.

He flicks the lights off, trying to forget the day, forget the past twenty years.

            “Sasuke?”

Vaguely, he wonders if this is all just some bad dream he’ll eventually wake up from.

            “Hn.” Naruto, apparently, doesn’t get that.

“Why did you marry her?” He whispers, so shy and unlike his usual self that Sasuke almost has to do a double take.

            “I mean… You never seemed to care much about her in the first place, at least not like, y’know, _that_ , so, uh…. Was it because you wanted to revive your clan?”

Sasuke doesn’t speak, not for a long time.

            “You go first.” He says quietly, and Naruto’s about to protest but he glances at Sasuke’s face and realizes he isn’t getting an answer until he gives one.

“Well... uh” He pauses, trying to think back. Sometimes he wonders what had been running through his mind all those years back, because all he sees now is a blur of confusion and bitterness.

“It was because… because, well, it just felt like I had to do it, y’know? Everyone was all ‘You’ve got to marry Hinata or you’ll never be Hokage!” or ‘If you won’t chase after a girl that you’ll never be able to commit!’ or something. It just seemed like everyone else wanted it, and Hinata, well, she’s not _bad,_ she’s just…”

_Not you._

“ Kind of boring. I’ve been married to her for what- twenty years? And I still don’t know what her favorite food is, or what she wants from life, or, I don’t know- how she feels about our marriage or really anything. All I know is that she showed me a genjustu of how she felt and I guess I just felt bad that she felt that way, because that’s how I felt about Sakura, about- other people. Y’know?”

“A genjutsu?” Sasuke asked, turning to face him. “That’s why you married her? I thought you couldn’t get trapped in a genjutsu!”

Naruto scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah- me too. I’m not actually sure how all that happened- it almost seemed like the whole universe wanted us to get together and anything I tried to pull against that was completely useless.”

“I- I wish you’d been there. Maybe- Maybe things would have been different.” He said quietly as they stared up at the ceiling, pinkies barely brushing.

“So… What about you?”

“Hn?”

            “What's your story?” He asks.

“I…” Sasuke says, not knowing if the truth is too painful to admit.

            “I wanted to revive my clan.” He says simply, refusing to meet his rival’s eyes.

“Oh.” There’s a long silence, before a slight inhale. “Okay.”

            Then it all came tumbling out. “I missed you.” Was all he managed at first, but eventually he found it in him to say more.

“I- thought you’d left me. That- that the only person left who’d cared about me was gone.”

            He didn’t say anything else. Sasuke was pretty sure the weak links holding him together might just snap if he did.

“Sasuke.” Naruto’s saying, and then he’s on him, pulling him into another bone-crushing hug.

            “I love you too, dobe.”

“More than anything, teme.”

            They pull apart, and Sasuke can swear there’s bits of moisture in the corner of his eyes but he ignores it in favour of staring into Naruto’ bright blue ones.

“What do we do?” He asked, running a hand through dusty blond hair.

            “I don’t know.” Comes the soft reply.

“But we’ll figure it out.” Naruto says, eyes filled with determination that is painfully reminiscent of all those times he’d told Sasuke he’d bring him back no matter the cost.

            “I promise you, Sasuke, that I- we’ll fix things. No matter what. I won’t let everything fall to pieces again.”

“And I don’t go back on my promises.”

            “Neither do I.” Sasuke replies, and there’s a pause where their eyes meet.

They stay there for a while, trapped in a trance that reminds him too much of all their former battles, until one of them speaks.

“Well- good night.” Naruto says and for a while they just lay there, neither wanting to say anything but also incapable of falling asleep.

            At some point, Sasuke just can’t take it anymore.

“Naruto” He mumbles and his friend’s eyes fly open.

            “Sasuke? You’re still awake?”

“Of course I am, idiot.”

            “W- what are you doing?” Naruto asks as he leans over.

“This.”

            And then he’s pressing their lips together, Naruto gripping his shirt and moaning into his mouth. It burns- with passion, regret and something else a bit too dangerous to touch, and for a while they just close their eyes and wonder why it too them so _long_ to do this.

When they finally pull apart in desperate need of air, Naruto smiles.

            “Sasuke.” He mumbles, reaching for his friend’s hand, smiling.

“We’re only twenty years late, right?”

            “Thirty.” Sasuke replies.

“Better late than never, I guess.” Naruto says, hand on Sasuke’s chest.

            “Hey…” He mumbles as Sasuke pulls off his shirt, pressing another kiss to his neck, biting until he’s pretty sure he’ll have a bruise tomorrow.

“Hn?” Sasuke replies, and there’s something almost like concern inflected on his usually disinterested tone.

            “Promise me you won’t regret this tomorrow?”

There’s not even a pause before he can feel Sasuke’s breath against his skin, a low hum in his heart. “Never.”

            And with that, he pulls Sasuke into another kiss.

“Good. Because I won’t either.”

xxx

Sasuke wakes up early the next morning, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he tries to remember what had occurred the night before.

            He looks around briefly, eyes filling with shock at the room around him.

It isn’t the usual room he uses at home, although that in it of itself isn’t much of a surprise; he doesn’t really bother enough to keep track of which room he stays in all that often.

            But when he looks down, and sees a sleeping blond haired half naked ninja sleeping beside him, he’s a little surprised.

Memories of last night are coming back to him, and suddenly the clothes lying around in the living room make a lot more sense. _Oh._ He thinks passively, the thoughts not fully registering in his mind.

            Naruto’s starting to wake up, eyelids fluttering slowly as he yawns and stretches ungracefully.

“Sasuke?” He mutters, still half asleep.

            “Hn?”

A hand reaches up to his chin, half lidded eyes now staring at him. “Did we…?”

            He catches on, nodding and swallowing hard. “Yes.”

A smile reaches Naruto’s face, and he tilts his head back onto the pillow again, smiling.

            “Good. It’s about time.”

“Hn.”

            “Thanks for agreeing with me, teme.” Naruto says, still half asleep as he blindly reaches out to lightly punch him.

“You’re welcome.”

            “Mmm.” His rival replies, deciding that arguing isn’t worth it and instead opting to curl up around his pillow. He half opens an eye and looks at him for a second.

“You’re such a jerk.” He says, and then shoves his face into the pillow, trying once again to fall asleep.

            But he disproves that by taking Sasuke’s hand and slowly pressing their palms against each other, fingers slowly curling together as a smile stretches across his scarred face.

And as Sasuke stares at his rival’s face he thinks that maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for them yet.

**Author's Note:**

> How'd I do? Is it good? Bad? Again, I'm not sure exactly how these two would react to this situation, considering canon, so constructive criticism is useful if you feel like sending it. Thanks for reading!


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